I happen to have what some might call a terrible mouth. But to that I say, That's fucked up. Words have lost some of their emotional meaning when we always communicate via text. It is a frequent occurrence that thoughts are misinterpreted when we communicate through technology. But there is a bigger point being missed. Miscommunication is not something that was invented with the internet. There is a barrier between each and every one of us. We are all trying to make it so that other humans know what we feel and what we are trying to say.
I tend to get to the point in a lengthy manner most times. I have been called "passionate" "intense" and been told to "lighten up" amongst the nicer end of things. I've been called aggressive, angry, loud, and many other less nice things. I use all the words I know. None of them are "bad". Just because a word's meaning is bad, or that word describes a bad act does not make that word in itself bad. We demonize Fuck, and all slang as a form of making sure people are aware of class distinction and gender bias. We ingrain children with the idea that "we don't say those things in front of Grandma" yet grandpa says whatever grandpa wants, especially when women aren't within earshot. And just for reference I've heard both of my Grandma's say Fuck, and apologize for it. As if speaking passionately, especially in front of me, warrants an apology.
I was inspired to write this because of this story about a woman who was not allowed to board a plane wearing a t-shirt that brandished the word Fuck. The shirt had a very political feminist message. "If I wanted the government in my womb, I'd FUCK (it was embolden with color) a senator." I'd be interested to know how many people and of what shapes, sizes, colors, and religions have been asked not to board planes based on their "offensive" attire. I would like to know why we find the word Fuck so offensive. Her message in itself was not a threat. So why would other passengers safety come into consideration in her attire.
Words have power, we use words to express how we feel or what is happening as we perceive it. But words only have as much power as we give them. What is the power behind the list of words we're not allowed to say on T.V. or radio? Is it the power to control us? The power to make us adhere to an arbitrary set of societal rules of politeness, that change arbitrarily.
As a parent I had to make a personal compromise. Just because I am a mother, does not mean that I am everyone's mother. As a matter of fact, your very own mother is a full person, who had a personality before the blanket statement of mother was wanded over her. I still use a lot of bad language but my intent and direction isn't what most people would think. I have no rules in my house about bad words. No words are bad, all words exist and thus warrant analysis and discussion and sometimes usage. My son is 5, he has no restrictions on what words he is allowed to use at home. He does not believe that "stupid is a bad word" because it's not. It's a not nice word. It's a word that when used in a certain context can cause emotional harm to another person. But sometimes when the next book in your favorite series is delayed, or something you just bought breaks for no apparent reason that warrants the usage of "that's fucking stupid." You are mad. You are upset. You want to express how you feel about that and it's appropriate.
In my house instead of "bad words" we have a rule that you do not use language to hurt others, much like you do not use your fists to hurt others. As surprising as it might sound with as much "bad language" as my son hears, and "adult" conversations, he does not use bad words to get a reaction, because there is none. Therefore he rarely chooses to use bad language to express himself. Maybe if he is disappointed because something is broken he might be heard saying, shit or fuck. But it's rare because I usually just smile and say, "I'm sorry that really sucks but things are not what's important in life. "
Many adults underestimate children's ability to understand concepts and not just blunt commands like a dog. I see many children being treated like and behaving like animals and that is not the child's fault. Respect your children, talk to them like they are real people, and they will learn to respect others. Children are not inferior to you, they have the capacity for the most wisdom because they have not been scorned yet by tragedy and lead to bias. You are their primary example of how to treat other kids, and adults. Teach them that whether or not someone is an adult, if they treat you with kindness and respect they deserve yours.
I understand that many men have been assassinated, or silenced through slander because of the powerful language they used. The language that said, "These things are wrong and they must change!" That is the most powerful language, the language of communication and knowledge. The reason powerful men want to control the news and the religions is because they understand the power of knowledge, and words. People can only unify in a way that effects change when we communicate together, and communication really comes down to words. As Fredrick Douglass understood, "Once you learn to read. You will forever be free."
Question why you think some words are bad and other words are good. Words have no meaning without context and less meaning without enunciation. Sometimes a string of perfectly good words can be used to make someone else feel bad. For example, "You have terrible skin. You would be prettier if you wore make-up." Did you see any BAD words in there? But the meanness remains, the sentiment is clearly to hurt another person. Communication has less to do with what words you use and more to do with how you use them. Do not be afraid to use powerful language.
Like Me On Facebook and Share the Love
