2/14/15

I Love You: A Valentine's Day Poem

I love you when you stroke my hair
I love it that you're always there
I love that no matter where
You always let me know you care
I love that even when you don't know why
You always hold me when I cry
From the first time you said my name
I knew that things would never be the same
I love it when our feet touch in bed
I love all the things you think that are never said
I love how I feel when you first come home
I love to think of you when I'm alone
I love that you taught me to love again
I love that you are my best friend
If you asked me at the very end
I'd say I'd do it all again

I wrote a love poem for the first time since I was a teenager. And then I cried. Cause the tears for all the reasons now. Happy and sad.

2/9/15

"What Are You?" it is a race thing

I am Irish and Italian from 19th century immigration. And European but not exactly sure. My dad's grandma liked to say they were "Texan." So maybe Spanish and part native. I am really interested in getting my DNA tested because the one side is so muddied into "Whiteness". Someone stole my history and replaced it with race riots and lynchings.
Needless to say I am a mutt. Like most of us. And the cultural narrative of my immigrant side has replaced whatever the older relatives may have done. I assume most of us live in families like that. We all hold up our family members accomplishments. Not the things they would have been ashamed of, like that time the whole town lynched an innocent man... Ya know?
I have white privilege in some ways. If I dress right, put on the right makeup, walk right, I can get at White Privilege. But I am still kind of tall and confident for a woman so that is always knocking me back from Success. I am far too "Bitchy" for success. Lmfao.
But I don't call myself White unless I have to and it comes with an explanation. And I am certainly not Proud my ancestors may have been duped by brilliant propaganda at the marvel of the new printing press technology. I am into educating people about how to not blindly trust now, like we shouldn't have then, anything we read. I am certainly not proud of them losing their cultural identities and personal histories to pop culture.
I really really think White should not be a little box you get to tick. A box that means you're more likely to get financial aid. To get help. To get hired. I wish it would be phased out as a description and category of human beings.
There are the aristocrats and everybody else.